A few days ago, I had lunch with a young African-American man I met through a leadership cohort. He’s sharp—impressive intellect, strong work ethic, married, a new father, and already rising fast inside a major corporation. But more importantly, he cares. He cares about mentorship, about being a real leader at home and at work, and about stewarding his gifts well.
We were standing in line at the pasta bar inside his office building when he asked me a question that I knew was coming—not because he said it before, but because every high-achieving Black man I know wrestles with it, including me:
“How do you take a break without feeling guilty about it?”
He had recently taken a moment to rest and found himself feeling bad—like he was wasting time, falling behind, or not living up to the demands placed on him.
I told him the same thing I’ll tell you:
It starts with IMPACT.
What IMPACT Really Means
IMPACT is the ultimate aim of our lives—short-term and long-term, earthly and heavenly. It’s the sum total of all the things we are called to do and the people we are called to serve.
For me, impact is two-fold:
Heavenly impact
I want to stand before God one day knowing I did the things He asked me to do. I won’t bat a thousand. None of us will. But I don’t want to leave a long list of undone assignments because I refused to rest. A lack of rest doesn’t just lead to burnout—it can lead to sickness and even death. And dying from exhaustion is not the same as dying empty.
Earthly impact
I want to influence this world at a high level.
I want to be on the cover of Time Magazine by age 50.
I want to win a Nobel Peace Prize for contributing to a future where at least 30% of Major League Baseball players are African-American.
I want to build things that last longer than my lifetime.
Those goals—and everything required to reach them—demand strength, clarity, courage, and stamina. None of those things exist without rest.
So when this young brother asked how to rest without guilt, I told him:
You rest by focusing on IMPACT—not activity.
Here’s what I shared with him.
IMPACT: How to Rest Without Guilt
I — Identify What Matters Most
When you know your purpose, you know what deserves your energy—and what doesn’t. Rest becomes easier when you’re clear on what truly matters.
M — Measure Your Capacity Honestly
Just like a skillet can only hold so much, so can you. At lunch, there were five pans on the line, each sized for the portions they were meant to make. Could the cooks use bigger pans? Yes. But that would compromise quality. Your life works the same way. Capacity is real. Honor it.
P — Protect Your Energy and Priorities
People are depending on you. Your family. Your calling. Your future. Rest is not optional—it’s strategic. Protect it.
A — Accept That Rest Is Part of the Assignment
Rest is not what you do after the work is done. Rest is part of the work. It is obedience. It is stewardship. It is humility.
C — Calendar Your Renewal
Rest doesn’t happen accidentally. Schedule it. Guard it. Communicate it. Your calendar is a declaration of your priorities.
T — Trust That the Work Will Resume Stronger After Rest
Guilt comes from thinking rest equals falling behind. In reality, rest ensures you’re ready when it’s time to grind again. Rest restores strength, sharpens clarity, and increases impact.
Rest to Be Your Best
As we moved through the lunch line, I pointed to those pans again. The cooks couldn’t speed up the process beyond their capacity. If someone wanted something faster, they had to choose a lesser option. Because the best takes time.
You and I are no different.
If you want to be the best, you must rest.
If you want to serve the rest, you must be your best.
I don’t always get it right. But I am learning to enjoy rest—truly enjoy it—because I want to live long and stay strong enough to make the impact God created me to make.
And I want the same for him.
And for you.
Bonus Resource: The IMPACT Capacity Exercise
If this message resonates with you and you want a practical tool to help you clarify what matters most, I created an exercise called “The Four Lists That Clarify Your Life.”
It walks you through building your:
- Can-Do List
- Can’t-Do List
- Will-Do List
- Won’t-Do List
This simple but powerful exercise will help you understand your true capacity so you can rest wisely and lead powerfully.
If you’d like a copy, just email me:
Photo credit to iSmooth