Recently, I had the privilege of being connected through Harvard Business School with a young man named Julian Viera, an MBA student at Harvard and graduate of Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
Julian and I were connected because of our shared interest in youth development, leadership, and social impact. I completed the Harvard Business School Upswell Social Enterprise Initiative, and I was humbled that someone like Julian saw value in my lived experience as both a practitioner and thought partner.
What stood out to me most about Julian’s questions was not simply their intelligence, but their sincerity. His questions were not performative. They reflected tension, responsibility, curiosity, and humility.
He was not asking how to “save” Black youth.
He was asking how to serve responsibly.
That matters.
Below are my reflections on the five questions he asked me.
- “How Do We Plant Seeds in the Garden of Poor and Working-Class Black Youth Without Being Black Ourselves?”
Julian shared that although he is white, he grew up in a working-class household in New Jersey and experienced socioeconomic instability, including facing eviction during his senior year of high school.
That context matters.
Because while race and class are different conversations, struggle still creates empathy. Hardship still creates awareness. Pain still creates perspective.
But it is also important to understand that empathy is not equivalence.
Just because someone understands hardship does not mean they fully understand Blackness in America.
And to Julian’s credit, his question acknowledged that.
That humility is important because many people enter underserved communities believing proximity automatically creates expertise. It does not.
I once heard a white man named Stan Conway tell me something that changed my life:
“You’re planting seeds in a garden that isn’t yours.”
At first, that statement bothered me. But over time, I realized it was not criticism. It was stewardship.
Recently, I heard Ibram X. Kendi say that race is not real in the same way a mirage is not real, but racism is real.
That resonated with me deeply.
I believe racism is fundamentally about power before it is about people.
It is about who controls opportunity.
Who controls systems.
Who controls access.
Who controls affluence.
Who controls narratives.
Black people were made into a race.
But we made ourselves a people.
So when someone who is not Black desires to serve Black youth responsibly, the starting place cannot simply be programming or strategy.
It must begin with conviction.
Before connection comes conviction.
Conviction means honestly wrestling with the historical reality of Black people in America:
- Generational wealth intentionally disrupted
- Educational opportunities denied
- Communities underfunded
- Labor exploited
- Families destabilized
- Trauma normalized
- Excellence criminalized
- Leadership often punished instead of protected
Conviction is not guilt.
Conviction is not pity.
Conviction is not optics.
Conviction is allowing another people’s reality to emotionally impact your own humanity deeply enough that it changes how you move.
And many people rush past conviction because conviction is uncomfortable.
People often want to “help” before they have fully listened.
But communities can feel the difference between people who came to build relationships and people who came to build resumes.
Three Signs It’s Time to Move from Conviction to Connection
- You Begin Asking Better Questions
You stop asking:
“How do we fix these kids?”
And begin asking:
“What systems produced these outcomes?”
“What can we learn?”
“What strengths already exist in this community?”
- You Become More Committed to Trust Than Visibility
You stop centering recognition and begin centering relationships.
You understand that communities that have experienced exploitation are naturally cautious of outsiders who arrive with resources but no relational equity.
- You Are Willing to Stay When Progress Is Slow
Conviction survives inconvenience.
If the work only exists when it is celebrated publicly, then it was probably branding more than belief.
Real transformation takes time.
Especially in communities where trust has historically been broken.
- “How Have You Balanced Building Wealth While Pouring Your Heart Into Youth Development?”
This was an incredibly important question because many people in social impact spaces secretly wrestle with guilt around money.
Julian shared that although he comes from a family without generational wealth, he now has access to elite educational spaces through MIT and Harvard. At 26 years old, he is trying to balance building financial stability for his future family while also pursuing what he believes is his earthly talent: tutoring and academic mentorship.
That tension is real.
Especially for people who care deeply.
Many people enter youth development believing that sacrifice automatically equals impact.
But over time, many purpose-driven people become emotionally exhausted, financially unstable, and resentful because they were taught that service requires self-destruction.
I disagree with that.
You cannot be the best and the cheapest at the same time.
The young people we serve deserve access to excellence.
They deserve high-level coaching.
High-level mentorship.
High-level leadership.
High-level environments.
And excellence costs.
I often say:
“My cost is my value minus my emotions.”
That means I understand the value of what I bring through coaching, leadership, strategy, and development.
My wife Kelli and I operate both nonprofit and for-profit entities because sustainability matters.
Our for-profit work allows us to create wealth, stability, and capacity.
Our nonprofit work allows us to create access and impact.
Those two things work together.
Too often, people in underserved communities are expected to only receive leadership from people who are also struggling financially. But poverty should not have to lead poverty.
The goal should not simply be sacrifice.
The goal should be capacity.
And capacity requires wealth.
Not wealth for ego.
Not wealth for greed.
But wealth for sustainability.
Wealth for flexibility.
Wealth for generosity.
Wealth for infrastructure.
Wealth for legacy.
When I mentor young people through nonprofit work, we often create different forms of currency for access.
Sometimes the currency is accountability.
Sometimes consistency.
Sometimes effort.
Sometimes discipline.
Sometimes community service.
Sometimes emotional growth.
But value must always exist in the exchange.
Because what people receive without value attached is often undervalued.
- “How Do You Balance Being Cofounders While Also Being Family?”
Julian shared that he cofounded his organization with his older cousin Tyler, who feels more like a brother than a cousin.
That distinction matters because family businesses and mission-driven organizations often collapse when emotional relationships become unclear operationally.
My wife Kelli and I have worked together for years.
And the first thing I tell people is this:
Kelli is my wife.
But she is also my boss.
She serves as CEO.
I serve as Chief Visionary Officer.
And our partnership works because we are fundamentally different.
I represent the heart.
She represents the head.
I represent conviction.
She represents connection.
I focus on vision.
She focuses on mission.
I am naturally disruptive.
She is naturally structured.
And both are necessary.
Many organizations fail because founders compete instead of complementing one another.
People often assume successful partnerships require similarity.
I believe successful partnerships require clarity.
One of the most important exercises for family founders is creating:
- A Can-Do List
- A Can’t-Do List
- A Will-Do List
- A Won’t-Do List
That exercise creates alignment, boundaries, and trust.
Because love alone is not enough to sustain leadership.
Without clarity:
- Resentment builds
- Expectations become assumed
- Communication breaks down
- Personal frustrations become organizational dysfunction
Family relationships require intentionality.
But mission-driven family partnerships require even more.
- “How Do You Ensure Effective Sponsorship While Navigating Restrictions?”
Julian referenced something I often say:
Many young people today are over-mentored and under-sponsored.
That distinction is critical.
Mentorship is advice.
Sponsorship is access.
Mentorship says:
“I believe in you.”
Sponsorship says:
“I am willing to leverage my relationships, resources, influence, and reputation to create opportunities for you.”
Those are not the same thing.
Julian shared examples from his coaching experience where restrictions prevented direct financial support for athletes whose families could not afford participation fees.
I do not face those exact restrictions in Georgia, so I cannot speak directly to those policies. But I would encourage organizations to deeply examine:
- Why the restrictions exist
- Who benefits from them
- Who is harmed by them
- Whether advocacy is needed to challenge them
Because the reality is this:
You cannot have fun without funding.
Travel youth sports has become a $40 billion industry.
And in many ways, it has widened the gap between the haves and the have-nots.
Exposure costs money.
Training costs money.
Travel costs money.
Equipment costs money.
Recovery costs money.
Nutrition costs money.
And the best coaching environments are rarely the cheapest.
This is why sponsorship matters.
Not simply emotional support.
Economic support.
One of the greatest opportunities today is connecting workforce development to youth development.
Companies need disciplined, emotionally intelligent, coachable young people.
Youth organizations need sustainable funding.
When those two things connect properly, sponsorship becomes more sustainable because businesses begin seeing youth development not as charity, but as talent pipeline development.
That changes the conversation entirely.
- “How Do You Prioritize Survival Versus Thriving?”
This may have been Julian’s deepest question.
He referenced something I often say:
We must help youth move:
- From surviving to thinking
- From reacting to reflecting
- From fear to hope
But he also acknowledged the reality that many underserved youth are carrying extraordinary burdens simply trying to survive.
That is real.
Hungry children struggle to focus.
Traumatized children struggle to trust.
Housing insecurity impacts emotional regulation.
Violence impacts nervous systems.
Fear impacts learning.
Basic needs matter.
Thriving cannot happen consistently while survival is unstable.
But no organization can meet every need alone.
That is why collaboration is essential.
Churches.
Schools.
Nonprofits.
Mental health providers.
Businesses.
Community leaders.
Government agencies.
All must work together.
And storytelling matters deeply here.
Communities must understand that the cost of neglecting children eventually returns to society through:
- Incarceration
- Underemployment
- Addiction
- Violence
- Hopelessness
But when children thrive, communities benefit through:
- Employment
- Civic engagement
- Leadership
- Entrepreneurship
- Philanthropy
- Stability
At LEAD Center For Youth, we call this becoming a Major League Citizen:
Gainfully employed.
Civically engaged.
Radically philanthropic.
And to help communities understand the developmental process of thriving, I would offer Julian this framework:
The THRIVE Framework
T — Trust
Young people must feel emotionally and physically safe before transformation can occur.
H — Hope
Hope helps youth imagine futures beyond their present circumstances.
R — Resources
Thriving requires access to opportunity, transportation, nutrition, relationships, technology, and funding.
I — Identity
Young people must understand who they are before the world defines them for them.
V — Vision
Vision creates direction beyond survival mode.
E — Empowerment
Empowerment means giving youth responsibility, ownership, support, and voice.
Thriving is not accidental.
It is developmental.
And development requires conviction, collaboration, consistency, courage, and community.
Final Reflection
I appreciated Julian’s questions because they reflected something deeper than curiosity.
They reflected responsibility.
And responsibility is where meaningful change begins.
Not with saviors.
Not with slogans.
Not with performative allyship.
But with people willing to sit in conviction long enough to become transformed themselves before attempting to transform others.